I tried to be pretty mellow when I was pregnant. Honestly, I was too nauseous to do much stressing out anyway. =) But I felt it was really important to not make these grandiose plans and high expectations for Caleb's arrival; I didn't want to set myself up for failure. I honestly didn't make it more than a couple of chapters into any of the pregnancy/labor/parenting books. As soon as they made me nervous, I put them up. I was okay with nursing, but if that didn't work, I was more than happy to use formula. I planned to use my stroller when we went out. Disposable diapers were fine. My goal was to take things as they happened, rather than freak myself out ahead of time or set goals I might not be able to reach.
I guess the mellow, come-as-you-are thing worked out well...
I've done what I consider to be a good job with the first five months. I worked really hard to get Caleb on a schedule. I made sure he knew daylight hours from nighttime hours as soon as we brought him home; I made sure he got lots of sunshine and the blinds were open during the day, and at night the room was darker. I wanted him to be able to sleep with noise, so I've made our house a quiet, though not a silent, place. Sometimes I play music, sometimes I have the television on in the back room. Sometimes, we talk around his crib when B and I check on him. He's been super flexible so far and can fall asleep just about anywhere...even the pool. =)
I started off with paper diapers. They're fine. I'm not thrilled with the trash, but I figured convenience worked well. Then, I tried some hand-me-down cloth diapers. I loved them. They felt good, I liked knowing they were chemical free. (Have you ever felt the weird gel stuff that is in those paper diapers, it's pretty gross!) I liked washing them and putting soft, cotton clothes on Caleb's little body. And the more I used them, the more the environmentally-friendly aspect made me happy. My trash in Caleb's room has dropped down by at least 90%! Only wipes! I had no idea how frequently I'd been emptying his little trash can until I didn't need to any longer. Now, I've tried four or five different types of cloth diapers and I LOVE them. Oh, and let's not talk about how (sadly) excited I got when B hooked up a diaper sprayer to our toilet pipes so I can rinse Caleb's diapers before throwing them in the pail. Ahhh, it's the little things...
When he was in the hospital nursery, I was encouraged to pump whatever I could and they added it to his carefully measured formula to supplement it. At first, I was frustrated because I was producing so little. Then, all of a sudden, my body caught up with my brain and poof! Everything was working just fine. Five months in, Caleb's still nursing. He's had formula a few times--we kept emergency pre-made bottles for when we were out--but he's going on the good stuff. I'm still not comfortable with nursing in public, so I take bottles with me. Although, I did attend a La Leche League event (Whuck???) and participated in the world record breaking Latch-On...where across the country, women nursed their babies at these LLL events at the exact same time, then our info was forwarded to Guiness. So technically, I nursed that one time in public, though Bean was securely in my Moby wrap and I was covered. I was definitely the most modest mommy there, but I'm just not comfortable with showing the girls in public. But hey, if Caleb's getting all-natural food, I'm good with it however he takes it. (And, as a side note, I did the math on how much money I'm saving by not buying formula...holy smokes, nursing saves a fortune!)
And I mentioned the Moby...well, I have found I love to carry Caleb on me instead of lugging around that heavy, awkward car set. He has an Infantino I wear for short trips, and he has a Moby wrap I wear for longer outings. I love feeling him all snuggly next to me, and he seems to feel safe. He can face me or face out. He's secure and able to snuggle or explore. He has fallen asleep in both of them multiple times. =) And when Marcie sent me her Moby, I swore I'd never use it. It was "too complicated" and I would never remember how to wrap it around me. Well, yet again, I've switched my opinion. I LOVE that wrap!
I also try to expose Caleb to different types of music and instruments. I sing to him. I dance with him. I encourage him to touch the doggies at mom and dad's house, our house, and our neighbor's house. I like him to feel and touch and grab. I don't worry about him, I watch him closely but let him learn about his world. I'm not big on all the toys that the stores try and convince you to buy so you'll have a smart kid. I'm just trying to avoid the television and instead expose him to the world around him. I love laying on the carpet or in the grass and seeing things from his level. I tap him as music plays to help him feel the rhythm. I love seeing his face when he makes a connection and the light bulb goes off.
And, I have found how much I hate when other people play in certain ways with Caleb. It baffles me when people cannot hold him without singing/dancing/bouncing/poking him. I HATE when people poke or tickle him. As much as I detest being tickled, it really ticks me off when people try to tickle my son. I don't appreciate how sometimes people want to stir him all up when he wakes up from a late nap; just because his eyes are open, it doesn't mean it's okay to pull him out of his car seat and shake him up. He may have just woken up because he heard something unfamiliar; but if it's close to bedtime, I want him to stay calm. I have, thus far, bitten my tongue, but I'm finding that more difficult to do. I am very much a fan of a consistent schedule, and Brandon has joined me in this; he has seen the consequences of stirring Caleb back up after he's begun resting. It means a frustrating time of calming him down when we get home and trying to get him to bed by 9.
I'm a protective mommy. I'm not a germ freak like I figured I'd be, but I find myself wanting to take him and run when people try to kiss him on the lips. Ugh. Kiss him anywhere else, but
not on the lips. (...not to mention, I think that's a parent's privilege...and that should stop by adolescence. They were actually talking about that on The Talk a few weeks ago, about how adults should
not kiss their kids on the lips when they reach adulthood...but I digress...) Anyways, it strikes me as funny at the things that make me squirmy and irritated, the things that make me want to snatch my kiddo away from someone and leave...and the things that don't bother me afterall, like dirt and drool and putting things in his mouth.
I guess my point is...
I think I'm one of those crunchy granola earth moms. Whoda thunk it? =) I'm not a tree-hugger. I don't buy all organic food. I'm clearly not a vegetarian. But I have found a few things I'm particular about. I never expected to feel strongly about things like breastmilk and diapers, but I'm okay with how I do feel. I think the smartest thing I did was to
not make such specific plans when I was pregnant. By setting no overly specific expectations, I've been able to find happiness in the things I have done well without stressing about the things that didn't turn out so great.
Funny how that works.
