A letter to my one-year-old...

My sweet little boy...

You are officially no longer a baby. You are a one-year-old. Just the realization of this makes my head whirl.

One year ago today, Daddy and I had the most terrifying morning of our lives. A frantic trip to the hospital and the realization that you were coming, seven weeks early, ended with the most perfect blessing of our lives. You. You are a miracle. You came out screaming and proved the world wrong. We were told you'd probably be puny and sick, with under-developed lungs, and you'd have to be whisked away to CHKD. But no, you were strong and healthy and perfect. We were told you might be in there until your due date...but nope, you proved us wrong by coming home twelve days later. And ever since then, you've been calling the shots. You've grown and blossomed, you've surpassed our expectations in every way. Now, a year later, you're a crawling, babbling, noisy little fella.

It astonishes me how much you change everyday. I swear, sometimes I wake you up in the morning and you look three inches longer or feel like you weigh a pound heavier. I love how when you encounter something new, Daddy and I can almost see you figuring it out...how you'll hold it, turn it around in your hands, scrunch up your forehead (just like me!) and contemplate that new object. Somewhere between March of last year and this, I blinked...somehow, time slipped away...sped up... Time took away my teeny, tiny little Jellybean and replaced him with a beautiful little blonde-haired toddler.

You are a miracle. Never forget that. You are a direct result of God's amazing love and miraculous wisdom. You are covered in His fingerprints, He continues to mold you and change you every day of your life. You are a testament to the existence of God. How from nothing He could create the world, how from two tiny cells He could create the phenomenal human life...how He gave us the ability to love and think and reason, to question and help and forgive. And because of you, I have been humbled in this last year. I haven't gone to sleep a single night without thanking God for YOU and for the hundreds of blessings I experience each day, even the tiny ones I take for granted. I will never, ever, take for granted the gift of being chosen, hand-picked, to be your mom. This is the best job I have ever had. I know that God chose me to be your mom for many reasons. He made me discover my strength by requiring me to look to Him for strength all those days and nights when you were isolated in your incubator. He helped me to find my patience when you woke up each night and just wanted me. He taught me to love, unconditionally. He used you to teach me that I am worthy, that I am capable, that, despite my flaws, I am His child and can, in turn, raise my own child. For these, and many other reasons, I praise my God for you...and I thank you for showing me who I truly am and for expanding the capacity of my own heart.

Caleb, I sometimes have to look at pictures to remember how tiny and helpless you were in the beginning. You are so big, so active, so happy. It's so hard to believe that a year ago today, you depended upon an isolette to keep you warm and a feeding tube to give you sustenance. How far you've come, sweet boy!

Daddy and I are trying very hard to be good parents. We've had our moments. It hasn't always been easy. Sometimes, I was so tired I could have died, but I was too stubborn to ask for help. I thought it was admitting failure on my part. Sometimes, Daddy just didn't understand what you needed and would get so frustrated. Sometimes, I've doubted our ability to parent. But one thing I have never questioned is our ability to love you.

So here's to your first year in our family. You are the reason we ARE a family. You are our biggest blessing, our most perfect creation. You are the missing piece of our puzzle. Caleb, we love you more than you will ever understand. I am so proud of all you've done this year, and I am looking forward to all of the wonderful and amazing things you will accomplish in the year to come.

Happy birthday, my sweet Mr. Moo. Your daddy and I love you...right up to the moon...and back.

Love,
Mommy

Caleb's newest tricks

Well, Caleb is almost a year (!!!) old, and he's got lots of new tricks he enjoys. He currently likes to smoosh his face all up and "blow bubbles" at us. He's become quite good at it, actually...

Caleb has also learned to help daddy play video games. Here, they're playing the Kinect together.

 

And this little laugh just makes me smile...

And clearly he's my son...because this is his reaction to mixed vegetables...

Lastly, Caleb's not walking yet, but he has definitely become a quick crawler! He no longer does the "wounded soldier" crawl...he's on all fours with full force!

Here's the wounded crawl...

And here he's spinning in circles trying to get to my bathroom so he can play with the drawers...

Clearly, he's a little man on the move. What a joy to watch him grow and move each day!

Random Cuteness, latest edition

More random pics of my cutie patootie

Both of my babies

Nap time with the kids

Hey!

So I turned my back for half a second, and Caleb decided to see what this dishwasher thing was all about.

What? You mean it's not a climbing toy?

Playing piano with my munchkin **love**

Mommy and her biggest concern fan

See, he DOES look like me!

Okay, so everyone knows this baby is an exact replica of my hubby. But, sometimes he'll make an expression that is just straight up "me."

See, I did have a part in making this little monkey.

Uncle J and Auntie Jo are Getting Married!

J and Jo came into town for the weekend and we spent the weekend with them and the rest of their bridal party. Dad watched Caleb while I went wedding dress shopping with Jo and the girls. We started with breakfast at Panera, then headed to the bridal shop. She looked so beautiful, and she chose an absolutely perfect dress for her big day. She rang the bell! We had a great time watching her try on her options. Of course, I had to be my normal self and act a fool. She tried on a dress so ridiculously poufy…I told her she looked like the Ghost of Christmas Present and could hide children under it…and to prove my point, I crawled under it. =) Nothing like a dumb Peggy moment to get everyone laughing.

After she chose the dress, Daleena and I headed home to clean up. Within a couple hours, Jo’s Matron of Honor and another bridesmaid came over to help decorate. Kim, her MOH, cooked the most delicious meal of pasta! I had made a rosette zebra cake and had painted birdhouses and decorated Mason Jars to be candles. The rest of the wedding party came over and finally, the bride- and groom-to-be. It was a real team effort and it was nice to meet everyone with whom we’ll be spending the wedding weekend.

Super fun owls, filled with "tweets"

A couple of the Mason jar candles I made

Um...yes...it was delicious!

Along the way, Caleb got to spend a good chunk of the afternoon with his dear Auntie Daleena. She will never turn down a date with her little Jellybean! And once the bridal party came over and we started eating, Caleb enjoyed a little time with the entire group. He smiled it up for Auntie Jo and Uncle J, who snapped this darling picture. Oh, those eyes just make me melt!

Caleb also enjoyed a momentous occasion this evening; he ate his first spaghetti! I did not give him a plate of it, by any means. I didn’t feel like scrubbing the floor. =) But I fed him little pieces of noodles, and he loved them! He had a nice ring of marinara around his mouth, I wish I’d gotten a picture. But he was so stinkin’ cute! I’m glad he likes pasta like his mommy and daddy.

Bean also had to share his nursery with a sweet little birdie, Bridget. When Miss Bridget got hungry, she and her mommy went and used Caleb’s rocker. And when she needed an outfit change, they used his changing room. I don’t think he minded sharing at all! It’s the first time he’s had a playdate over, hahaha. He did enjoy watching her, though; she’s only about 4 months old, but he would just stare at her. It was so sweet!

Caleb headed to bed, right on time, and the party ended. But we had a great time with friends, old and new, and look forward to more get-togethers at our place.

Jellybean's first Valentine's Day

Brandon has been my Valentine for the last seven years…but this year, he had to share me with Caleb. =) How can I argue with my least favorite holiday when I started off my morning like this?

My funny Valentine

Bean and the homeless guy that starts my car every morning =)

Brandon got me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a Disney frame and Earth bag, and (as the angels are singing…) he baked me a cake! Yes, Brandon Sawyer successfully completed his first ever cake-baking experience. It was even red velvet, my favorite. He was so proud of himself! He decorated it with red icing and wrote “I love you” inside a giant heart. It was delicious! And these things were all waiting for me on the kitchen counter when I got home from another long day at work.

11 month pics

Jellybean at eleven months...where's the time going?