Friday 03/11/11

I got up and headed to Target for my meds and some pictures. My plan is to set two or three goals each day, otherwise I know I'll kill myself trying to do everything at once. I wanted to make sure I was okay to drive to the hospital on my own. I came home, put together a photo album, and rested for a bit in the den. Around lunch time, I headed to the nursery to see my Caleb. He was on bili-lights and a bili-blanket, which I had expected, because I'd noticed he was a little yellow last night at the hospital. His bilirubin count had been up, so they had him blindfolded (so the lights wouldn't damage his eyes) and wearing only a diaper while his "box" was in the spotlight.

My poor little glow worm

I couldn't hold him, so I rubbed his back and patted his little rear end. I realized it was the first time I'd seen him without clothes on. He had been rushed from my tummy to the table so quickly...and I remember feeling so disappointed because Wendy from school had said her fondest memory was feeling how warm her sons were when placed on her tummy right after being born. But I missed that. When they gave him back to me, he was all bundled up in the blanket.

So I spent almost an hour just watching him. I touched his skin. He loves when I rub little circles on his back. He stretched out his little chicken legs and I rubbed his little thighs and pulled at his wrinkles. His feet are so big. His neck has this little bit of extra skin that just begs for rubbing. I cupped his head with my hand and talked to him. He knew my voice, but couldn't see me because of the blindfold. I could tell he was frustrated. But he looked good and he'd eaten well, so I left there and headed to SAB to add him to my insurance with a light heart.

As I was headed to SAB, I was listening to K-Love. It's funny how the mommy  mode kicks in. I will hear a song and the words just hit me differently. I was already teary-eyed when Brandon called. He'd been up to Chick-Fil-A again (honestly, he should just have a fast pass there!) and the assistant manager saw him and asked if he was the guy who'd just had the baby a couple days ago. She told B to find him after he was done eating. So he did. And she said that everyone knew him by face, though not by name. And she handed him a catering menu and told him that they knew we were busy going back and forth from home to the hospital, so they wanted to treat us to any food we wanted, so we'd not have to worry about dinner. Their treat. Then she took him to meet the owner and his wife, and B told them all about our Caleb. The owner smiled and said he had been 15 weeks early, so he knew our little guy would be just fine. And his wife said, "Y'all don't be bashful! Order what you want, it will freeze well and save you some trouble as you take care of your little boy." So as B was telling me this, I just cried in my car. It amazes me how complete strangers have reached out to us...the Chick-Fil-A folks, a lady in Target that stopped me to say she was praying for us, people who have commented on our pictures and Facebook updates. We continue to be humbled and touched by God's blessings.

B and I went up after dinner. Caleb was still on the lights when we went back; B's heart just about broke. He got teary-eyed and was afraid to touch him. So I put B's hand on Caleb's back and said, "Rub him in circles. He likes it." And he did...and Caleb responded. B lightened up and we spent an hour talking to him before the nurse let us take him out and feed him a bottle. The nurses were swamped--three kiddos on bili-lights and six or seven others in there crying and needing attention. But all we heard was our Caleb. He did well for us. He got fussy when the nurse tried to unhook him and get his vitals. As soon as he was put on the scale, he peed all over everything! =) We could tell he was unhappy after being blindfolded all day, but we know he's healthy and he will be okay in a day or two.

We left, just fine, knowing he was healthy and in good hands. I cried in the truck on the way home. I know he's good, I just hate leaving him behind. But it's not for long.

And when we got home, we both crashed. I woke up on the couch, got B go bed, and we just slept harder than we've slept in months.